oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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