I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
