All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
