this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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