If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
