Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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