after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
