Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
