i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
