lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
