Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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