Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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