Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
