mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
