so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
