she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
