you would pick up someone in the library
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
