i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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