my vag is so smooth its legendary
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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