"it" just moved
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
