no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Why can't burritos get me drunk
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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