Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
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please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
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I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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