i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
