Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
