I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize