that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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