She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize