youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I look better un-naked...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
