So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize