never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize