I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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