just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
