Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
this boner is exhausting
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
