Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
