Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize