Don't you send me to vm
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
