The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
