Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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