So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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