you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
