You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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