If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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