Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She even gives head with a lisp.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
