you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
