My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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