I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
