6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Where is the hickey?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
