please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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