i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
