you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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