so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
