This girl is more easily done than said...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He kissed a someone with a penis
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize