i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
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I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
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You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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