OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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