Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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