I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
